(Black biro on a 125mm x 75mm notecard) He'll be fine as long as he keeps talking. Luckily for him, he can arse-on about that crap forever and so just keep out of reach of the bollocks monsters.
That one time I thought it would be a good idea to coat my lips with black ink and kiss the paper. Regretted it for the next 3 hours walking about feeling like a goth.